








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1289 | 35% |
| Smokes | 888 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 857 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 636 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $525,045 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wantinglife | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | drosh | 53% | 117 |
| #3 | acoustic dog | 46% | 50 |
| #4 | Valmx_ | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | 7y132 | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wantinglife | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | drosh | 53% | 117 |
| #3 | acoustic dog | 46% | 50 |
| #4 | Valmx_ | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | 7y132 | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | acoustic dog | 7 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | drosh | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | wantinglife | 5 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | Valmx_ | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drosh | 234 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Valmx_ | 42 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | acoustic dog | 41 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | 7y132 | 24 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | wantinglife | 22 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drosh | +2.36 | 80 | 49 |
| #2 | wantinglife | +1.12 | 54 | 40 |
| #3 | The Guy | -0.39 | 55 | 50 |
| #4 | Valmx_ | -0.45 | 79 | 45 |
| #5 | acoustic dog | -0.64 | 64 | 35 |





