








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 702 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6654 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3993 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3937 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3735 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4062 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,093,610 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 698 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BLAde | 67% | 39 |
| #2 | exercises in futility | 61% | 114 |
| #3 | KaaLG0D | 60% | 133 |
| #4 | Just A Chill Guy | 57% | 89 |
| #5 | PuNk! | 57% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | exercises in futility | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | HuRrIcAnE::FeAr | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | FLAM3Y | 7 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | PuNk! | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | KaaLG0D | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaaLG0D | +3.53 | 89 | 42 |
| #2 | exercises in futility | +3.37 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | BLAde | +3.04 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | Blayd3 | +2.59 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | PuNk! | +0.87 | 51 | 53 |





