










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 234 matches | 1,992 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1281 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1111 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1681 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 213 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,574,876 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 373 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PRIVATE 1 | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | bananamilkshake | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | Rembo | 49% | 39 |
| #4 | Neo Ꝋ | 49% | 76 |
| #5 | Triangler | 47% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bananamilkshake | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | Rembo | 49% | 39 |
| #4 | Neo Ꝋ | 49% | 76 |
| #5 | Triangler | 47% | 90 |
| #6 | Vericas | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bananamilkshake | 12 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | Rembo | 8 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | Vericas | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | PRIVATE 1 | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Neo Ꝋ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PRIVATE 1 | 210 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | bananamilkshake | 181 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Neo Ꝋ | 150 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rembo | 138 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Triangler | 137 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vericas | +5.09 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | urne | +1.64 | 88 | 45 |
| #3 | Triangler | +0.95 | 71 | 56 |
| #4 | PRIVATE 1 | -0.07 | 89 | 68 |
| #5 | Rembo | -0.46 | 55 | 63 |





