








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 103 | 21% |
| Smokes | 30 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 197 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 172 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $148,325 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goul | 30% | 64 |
| #2 | ronantomir | 26% | 19 |
| #3 | Antho_0002 | 26% | 58 |
| #4 | Yaniox | 23% | 13 |
| #5 | Lukito | 16% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goul | 15 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Lukito | 7 | 0.0189 |
| #3 | Yaniox | 3 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | Antho_0002 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goul | 167 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Lukito | 62 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Antho_0002 | 25 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | ronantomir | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Yaniox | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |





