








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2080 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 397 | 13% |
| Smokes | 573 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1041 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 975 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $398,328 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kamolzaaliite ジョン | 47% | 98 |
| #6 | karlovitch | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | daniel | 44% | 147 |
| #8 | ♔︎ zis | 39% | 31 |
| #9 | xVeins | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daniel | 25 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Kamolzaaliite ジョン | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Ar4a` labakais | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | gaminblood | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ♔︎ zis | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xVeins | +4.39 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | \\=DLG=// | +2.58 | 69 | 77 |
| #3 | Ar4a` labakais | +1.13 | 62 | 65 |
| #4 | Sandis. | +0.46 | 59 | 34 |
| #5 | ♔︎ zis | +0.34 | 59 | 68 |





