








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1887 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 168 matches | ||
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 90 matches | ||
| Wingman | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




144 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,898 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8383 | 35% |
| Smokes | 7470 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3090 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4955 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,552,369 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1580 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SneakyWabbet | 63% | 57 |
| #2 | [RSG] dEUCE | 55% | 166 |
| #3 | Sugarcrisp | 55% | 139 |
| #4 | John Warhammer | 55% | 100 |
| #5 | [WSC]🖤CandyCrusade🖤 | 55% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Si1verWo1f14 | 34 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | Sugarcrisp | 22 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | [RSG] dEUCE | 19 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | [WSC]🖤CandyCrusade🖤 | 16 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | SneakyWabbet | 13 | 0.0114 |





