










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
117 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 40 | 17% |
| Smokes | 72 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 63 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 54 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $39,117 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ЯАЯЕ | 43% | 14 |
| #7 | miku with a gun | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | horseington | 25% | 8 |
| #9 | Чернобог死神 | 17% | 6 |
| #10 | deathskull1000 | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i stopped cheating in 2016 | 3 | 0.0203 |
| #2 | PapaSchmeat | 2 | 0.0345 |
| #3 | ЯАЯЕ | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | 又胖又蠢的白痴 | 1 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | horseington | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i stopped cheating in 2016 | 24 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #2 | Чернобог死神 | 22 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #3 | miku with a gun | 22 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | horseington | 18 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | 又胖又蠢的白痴 | 15 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 又胖又蠢的白痴 | +7.55 | 95 | 53 |
| #2 | PapaSchmeat | +4.59 | 66 | 22 |
| #3 | i stopped cheating in 2016 | +4.44 | 58 | 46 |
| #4 | miku with a gun | +4.17 | 60 | 35 |
| #5 | Чернобог死神 | +1.46 | 71 | 66 |





