








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1376 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 641 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8940 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,314 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1267 | 10% |
| Smokes | 3076 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5289 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 2682 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,683,826 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 334 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uHKBu3uToP | 58% | 59 |
| #2 | RED★BOY | 50% | 239 |
| #3 | Uncle_J0R0 | 49% | 98 |
| #4 | Jimmy е чуек | 48% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uHKBu3uToP | 58% | 59 |
| #2 | RED★BOY | 50% | 239 |
| #3 | Uncle_J0R0 | 49% | 98 |
| #4 | Jimmy е чуек | 48% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RED★BOY | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Jimmy е чуек | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Uncle_J0R0 | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | uHKBu3uToP | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RED★BOY | 251 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | Jimmy е чуек | 231 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Uncle_J0R0 | 200 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | uHKBu3uToP | 100 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChichoMancho | +0.50 | 83 | 44 |
| #2 | RED★BOY | -0.09 | 61 | 62 |
| #3 | Jimmy е чуек | -0.86 | 57 | 62 |
| #4 | uHKBu3uToP | -1.20 | 67 | 57 |
| #5 | Uncle_J0R0 | -1.54 | 43 | 59 |





