








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2323 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2750 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2069 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2754 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $586,057 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Llamas in Pyjamas | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | LEBANESE SPECIAL FORCES | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | Randy | 62% | 34 |
| #4 | neeb | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | ari | 60% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | NAH | 57% | 208 |
| #9 | swing low | 56% | 36 |
| #10 | Vape Queen ❤ | 55% | 84 |
| #11 | Diddy Did It | 53% | 15 |
| #12 | ✪ Linstar | 53% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAH | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ✪ Linstar | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Rei | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Lamb | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | swing low | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAH | 633 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | Rei | 392 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | ✪ Linstar | 268 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Lamb | 170 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Vape Queen ❤ | 79 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Llamas in Pyjamas | +2.96 | 91 | 45 |
| #2 | neeb | +2.87 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | Randy | +2.82 | 89 | 49 |
| #4 | ninjaburgers | +2.20 | 80 | 69 |
| #5 | LEBANESE SPECIAL FORCES | +1.94 | 81 | 53 |





