








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 788 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11150 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,637 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10615 | 27% |
| Smokes | 11390 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 10147 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7485 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,750,737 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 903 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Submersiblepump | 51% | 543 |
| #2 | Mike Nolan | 49% | 300 |
| #3 | banditcamp.com... | RustStake | 38% | 112 |
| #4 | chrisufox | 29% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Submersiblepump | 51% | 543 |
| #2 | Mike Nolan | 49% | 300 |
| #3 | banditcamp.com... | RustStake | 38% | 112 |
| #4 | chrisufox | 29% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike Nolan | 56 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | banditcamp.com... | RustStake | 13 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Submersiblepump | 12 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | chrisufox | 5 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Submersiblepump | 796 | 0.07 | 18 min |
| #2 | Mike Nolan | 536 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | banditcamp.com... | RustStake | 74 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | chrisufox | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smurfisen2 | +0.96 | 59 | 66 |
| #2 | Submersiblepump | +0.08 | 60 | 52 |
| #3 | banditcamp.com... | RustStake | -1.68 | 34 | 28 |
| #4 | Mike Nolan | -3.18 | 18 | 37 |
| #5 | chrisufox | -5.45 | 6 | 25 |





