








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 81 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Renown | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1782 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2721 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1600 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1786 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $765,940 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1034 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RemY Cabella CS2.ME skins.army | 20 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | Kaky | 20 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | Bombel STS | 17 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | JabulaniSTS | 14 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | Misiek ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ | 10 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaky | 380 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | RemY Cabella CS2.ME skins.army | 375 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Misiek ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ | 346 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | Bombel STS | 125 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | JabulaniSTS | 94 | 0.07 | 3 min |





