








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




224 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9207 | 37% |
| Smokes | 7901 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2071 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 5866 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $929,438 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bluely | 52% | 174 |
| #2 | Master Shifu | 51% | 123 |
| #3 | exotic | 51% | 87 |
| #4 | Kuahana | 47% | 234 |
| #5 | Mac | 46% | 76 |





