








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
969 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 296 | 8% |
| Smokes | 975 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1006 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1269 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $281,706 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | paekas07 | 48% | 77 |
| #7 | k_ | 48% | 25 |
| #8 | Jyrkki | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | PEPPA | 44% | 43 |
| #10 | havingunastja | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paekas07 | 185 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Votekz | 97 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Wahetpole [nosound] | 77 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | õ | 62 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | k_ | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |





