








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
431 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 313 | 42% |
| Smokes | 55 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 211 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 167 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,831 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stang | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Cr1p | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | ⛧Gadreel⛧ | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Storbrat | 44% | 48 |
| #5 | Anomaly | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stang | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Cr1p | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | ⛧Gadreel⛧ | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Storbrat | 44% | 48 |
| #5 | Anomaly | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anomaly | 8 | 0.0537 |
| #2 | Storbrat | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Cr1p | 2 | 0.0111 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storbrat | 89 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Cr1p | 32 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Anomaly | 22 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stang | 6 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr1p | +6.26 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | Stang | +4.92 | 88 | 58 |
| #3 | Storbrat | +4.56 | 77 | 55 |
| #4 | Anomaly | +0.45 | 64 | 59 |
| #5 | Gorillaphant | -2.00 | 29 | 40 |





