








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
890 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1035 | 31% |
| Smokes | 672 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 613 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1064 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $626,262 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛Snowpen♛ | 49% | 154 |
| #2 | FuckingPedro | 49% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛Snowpen♛ | 49% | 154 |
| #2 | FuckingPedro | 49% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuckingPedro | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | ♛Snowpen♛ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuckingPedro | 313 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | ♛Snowpen♛ | 189 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuckingPedro | +0.66 | 18 | 67 |
| #2 | ♛Snowpen♛ | +0.25 | 16 | 55 |
| #3 | Alikiplays | -0.09 | 31 | 45 |





