








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 708 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,558 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2885 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2591 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2546 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1536 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,182,707 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EzP | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | samigaming | 50% | 147 |
| #3 | ramiy | 47% | 244 |
| #4 | xodoilili | 46% | 209 |
| #5 | Mike Oxlong | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | samigaming | 50% | 147 |
| #3 | ramiy | 47% | 244 |
| #4 | xodoilili | 46% | 209 |
| #5 | Mike Oxlong | 31% | 29 |
| #6 | makey | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ramiy | 113 | 0.0225 |
| #2 | xodoilili | 51 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | samigaming | 12 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Mike Oxlong | 5 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | makey | 4 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ramiy | 808 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #2 | xodoilili | 605 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | samigaming | 282 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | EzP | 197 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #5 | makey | 70 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EzP | +6.83 | 84 | 80 |
| #2 | ramiy | +4.21 | 76 | 64 |
| #3 | samigaming | -1.08 | 70 | 57 |
| #4 | Mike Oxlong | -1.44 | 39 | 39 |
| #5 | xodoilili | -2.46 | 42 | 54 |





