








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,211 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 375 | 31% |
| Smokes | 233 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 427 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 176 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $112,150 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prieSty.666 | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | Obey | 44% | 16 |
| #3 | Ileeze | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | Reggie Kray | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | The Fate Decider | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obey | 5 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | FrankieFingler | 3 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | prieSty.666 | 2 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | Ileeze | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obey | 52 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | FrankieFingler | 37 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ileeze | 25 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | prieSty.666 | 13 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Reggie Kray | 8 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prieSty.666 | +5.72 | 44 | 52 |
| #2 | FrankieFingler | +4.34 | 92 | 44 |
| #3 | Reggie Kray | +1.79 | 63 | 49 |
| #4 | Ileeze | +0.87 | 65 | 57 |
| #5 | Obey | +0.25 | 72 | 56 |





