








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 652 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5046 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4463 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3693 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1965 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3376 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $473,398 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phanton | 89% | 19 |
| #2 | s1mp | 82% | 22 |
| #3 | Sam | 81% | 27 |
| #4 | rico | 80% | 61 |
| #5 | solo | 80% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | happypears014 | 59% | 44 |
| #9 | SoloEXE. | 58% | 26 |
| #10 | mathew | 55% | 56 |
| #11 | ❌🦈❌ | 50% | 32 |
| #12 | Aruseee | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rico | 24 | 0.0218 |
| #2 | Who'sInParis | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | SoloEXE. | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | s1mp | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | happypears014 | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rico | 268 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #2 | Who'sInParis | 181 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | mathew | 171 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | happypears014 | 120 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | SoloEXE. | 108 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rico | +5.34 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | -=Rip Aim Ducky=- | +3.67 | 82 | 66 |
| #3 | solo | +3.02 | 92 | 62 |
| #4 | s1mp | +1.25 | 74 | 54 |
| #5 | SoloEXE. | +0.94 | 57 | 59 |





