










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 324 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1014 | 26% |
| Smokes | 593 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1328 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 913 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,081,546 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HyperioN[N]N | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Geo | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | .-kid-. fake | 51% | 43 |
| #4 | NoobFromRo | 51% | 81 |
| #5 | Lemn | 48% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemn | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | .-kid-. fake | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Geo | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | BOT Simoo. | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ✪ Gnome | 2 | 0.0034 |





