








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 574 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 525 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4824 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4016 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3563 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3046 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,062,631 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5702 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Man eat RAW | 52% | 48 |
| #2 | Mth | 48% | 443 |
| #3 | Nvlax | 48% | 98 |
| #4 | A P E I N ♕ | 46% | 131 |
| #5 | Anmaen | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Nvlax | 48% | 98 |
| #4 | A P E I N ♕ | 46% | 131 |
| #5 | Anmaen | 42% | 38 |
| #6 | flashmcqueencegrosbg | 42% | 60 |
| #7 | Gwa Gwa | 31% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mth | 63 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | A P E I N ♕ | 22 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | flashmcqueencegrosbg | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Anmaen | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Nvlax | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mth | 1629 | 0.17 | 42 min |
| #2 | A P E I N ♕ | 470 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | Nvlax | 342 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Anmaen | 149 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Gwa Gwa | 110 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mth | +1.09 | 66 | 69 |
| #2 | A P E I N ♕ | +0.61 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | KENq- | -0.35 | 63 | 53 |
| #4 | Nvlax | -0.88 | 55 | 59 |
| #5 | Man eat RAW | -1.34 | 68 | 43 |





