








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 418 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,439 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1184 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1158 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1172 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 925 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $391,223 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 454 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mdotloading | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | Marrlless | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | SusMaster69 | 49% | 131 |
| #4 | rim job enjoyer | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | Rogusser | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rim job enjoyer | 6 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | Rogusser | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | mdotloading | 3 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | SusMaster69 | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Marrlless | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rim job enjoyer | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | mdotloading | 43 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Rogusser | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | SusMaster69 | 35 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | ttv/screameax -iwnl | 20 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J'aime les garçons féminins | +4.90 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | rim job enjoyer | +2.70 | 95 | 49 |
| #3 | ttv/screameax -iwnl | +0.71 | 89 | 61 |
| #4 | Rogusser | +0.36 | 75 | 45 |
| #5 | Marrlless | -0.51 | 44 | 39 |





