








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,157 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1530 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1717 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1791 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1119 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $335,288 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sherlock Homie | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | Lillesø ツ | 48% | 92 |
| #3 | Henry | 45% | 62 |
| #4 | NicoPepe | 43% | 70 |
| #5 | Skat | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Henry | 45% | 62 |
| #4 | NicoPepe | 43% | 70 |
| #5 | Skat | 41% | 63 |
| #6 | certified g00ner | 36% | 11 |
| #7 | rahbek | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lillesø ツ | 11 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Skat | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Henry | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | NicoPepe | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Sherlock Homie | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lillesø ツ | 444 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #2 | Henry | 245 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | Skat | 216 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | NicoPepe | 170 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sherlock Homie | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | certified g00ner | +3.47 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | Henry | +1.70 | 66 | 84 |
| #3 | Lillesø ツ | +1.12 | 73 | 80 |
| #4 | NicoPepe | +0.48 | 76 | 70 |
| #5 | rahbek | +0.33 | 65 | 60 |





