








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3893 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5753 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5336 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3545 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2813 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $464,168 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1006 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | æla? | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | dadimarjons | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | Almar :* | 54% | 67 |
| #4 | Robocop | 52% | 123 |
| #5 | Eln1no | 49% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eln1no | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Almar :* | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Robocop | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | skeindu ther | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | æla? | 3 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smokey | +3.13 | 79 | 77 |
| #2 | æla? | +1.01 | 66 | 66 |
| #3 | Almar :* | +0.66 | 56 | 57 |
| #4 | Eln1no | -0.74 | 59 | 53 |
| #5 | Robocop | -0.86 | 61 | 71 |





