








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2394 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2835 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1262 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 949 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,054,413 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 909 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buffaneer Monkey | 54% | 48 |
| #2 | Depressing Fire | 49% | 45 |
| #3 | Druid Monkey | 47% | 253 |
| #4 | Hls | 42% | 62 |
| #5 | Jager | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hls | 301 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | Druid Monkey | 293 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Jager | 130 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Depressing Fire | 100 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Buffaneer Monkey | 98 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hls | +1.13 | 68 | 53 |
| #2 | xf | +0.74 | 59 | 39 |
| #3 | Ninja Monkey | -0.69 | 55 | 31 |
| #4 | Depressing Fire | -0.78 | 77 | 46 |
| #5 | Druid Monkey | -0.78 | 66 | 38 |





