








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
423 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 419 | 33% |
| Smokes | 31 | 2% |
| HE Grenades | 697 | 55% |
| Molotovs | 125 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $85,181 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 424 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daniel Larson | 30% | 46 |
| #2 | Taka | 27% | 11 |
| #3 | Ochoa | 20% | 15 |
| #4 | stewy | 0% | 4 |
| #5 | momo | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daniel Larson | 30% | 46 |
| #2 | Taka | 27% | 11 |
| #3 | Ochoa | 20% | 15 |
| #4 | stewy | 0% | 4 |
| #5 | momo | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ochoa | 14 | 0.0405 |
| #2 | Daniel Larson | 8 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | stewy | 5 | 0.0633 |
| #4 | momo | 2 | 0.0174 |
| #5 | Taka | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daniel Larson | 63 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Taka | 37 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ochoa | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | momo | 8 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | stewy | 8 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | momo | +2.19 | 97 | 33 |
| #2 | Ochoa | +0.94 | 84 | 27 |
| #3 | Taka | -0.55 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | gamer | -1.31 | 63 | 42 |
| #5 | stewy | -1.50 | 61 | 12 |





