








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,018 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 391 | 19% |
| Smokes | 945 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 408 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 274 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $454,265 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kirk danger | 45% | 22 |
| #2 | yikes | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | Horse Chesnut | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kirk danger | 45% | 22 |
| #2 | yikes | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | Horse Chesnut | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kirk danger | 8 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | Horse Chesnut | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | yikes | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yikes | 61 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | kirk danger | 32 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Horse Chesnut | 18 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yikes | +3.28 | 92 | 59 |
| #2 | judahbuddah | -0.66 | 55 | 28 |
| #3 | Horse Chesnut | -1.15 | 41 | 26 |
| #4 | kirk danger | -1.98 | 16 | 37 |





