










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1111 | 25% |
| Smokes | 872 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1505 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 899 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $771,276 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | DEGEN | 48% | 65 |
| #7 | Nukedd | 48% | 40 |
| #8 | g | 47% | 147 |
| #9 | LargeMollusk38 | 41% | 64 |
| #10 | PREY4KFC | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | g | 544 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | LargeMollusk38 | 172 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Blippi | 159 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Sedjem | 140 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | DEGEN | 126 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEGEN | +2.52 | 80 | 46 |
| #2 | 𝖇𝖗𝖔𝖈𝖈𝖔𝖑𝖎 | +1.82 | 63 | 43 |
| #3 | g | +0.78 | 70 | 63 |
| #4 | Nukedd | +0.76 | 74 | 41 |
| #5 | BlackTroutManiac47 | +0.19 | 65 | 20 |





