








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,189 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 645 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1120 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 435 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 989 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,410 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TESLA TO THE MOON | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Insomnia | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | ✪ B1az3 ϟ | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | DeFuck | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | 奶糖糖 | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | just for fun | 98 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #2 | Alsymiya | 89 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #3 | KukiPeko | 85 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | m0NESY Lite | 82 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ B1az3 ϟ | 75 | 0.46 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ B1az3 ϟ | +4.13 | 81 | 70 |
| #2 | Alsymiya | +2.62 | 78 | 61 |
| #3 | Sei Stärkste | +2.45 | 75 | 40 |
| #4 | Mr.Mango | +1.80 | 72 | 59 |
| #5 | just for fun | +0.91 | 58 | 83 |





