








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 605 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3851 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3993 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 9533 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 5345 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $971,788 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 502 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | D41N | 53% | 93 |
| #6 | King | 51% | 68 |
| #7 | MaxHeadroom | 49% | 73 |
| #8 | M3RCY | 49% | 92 |
| #9 | Kutzi | 42% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ONE DUDE | +6.24 | 68 | 59 |
| #2 | Bot SALTIE | +5.06 | 77 | 61 |
| #3 | D41N | +3.55 | 55 | 68 |
| #4 | M3RCY | +2.19 | 46 | 66 |
| #5 | Seqo Billy Valentino | +0.82 | 38 | 38 |





