








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
639 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 508 | 23% |
| Smokes | 588 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 483 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 612 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $212,209 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bawlmain | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Weelock | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | Frædrægsen | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | Coni | 39% | 28 |
| #5 | Benny Juan | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frædrægsen | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Coni | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coni | 86 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Frædrægsen | 80 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | Benny Juan | 58 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bawlmain | 27 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | noxi | 18 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coni | +2.33 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | - Gavriic | +0.43 | 84 | 70 |
| #3 | Bawlmain | +0.41 | 45 | 63 |
| #4 | Frædrægsen | +0.30 | 81 | 55 |
| #5 | Weelock | -0.51 | 82 | 66 |





