










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 884 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,393 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1863 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1006 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1517 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1007 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $849,974 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3637 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurkuliite <3 | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | valtra | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Petrikaa | 50% | 74 |
| #4 | Marianeeeee | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurkuliite <3 | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | valtra | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Petrikaa | 50% | 74 |
| #4 | Marianeeeee | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petrikaa | 24 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | Marianeeeee | 7 | 0.0239 |
| #3 | valtra | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petrikaa | 131 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | valtra | 88 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kurkuliite <3 | 25 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Marianeeeee | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mosubasic skins | +3.02 | 75 | 47 |
| #2 | valtra | +0.12 | 58 | 60 |
| #3 | Petrikaa | -1.95 | 52 | 47 |
| #4 | Marianeeeee | -3.67 | 39 | 52 |
| #5 | Kurkuliite <3 | -4.16 | 37 | 50 |





