








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1884 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 610 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 198 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




200 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5268 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5112 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5366 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5250 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,075,299 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₿ | 52% | 84 |
| #2 | Bottom Fragger | 42% | 43 |
| #3 | PE4KS S3XSLAVE | 40% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₿ | 52% | 84 |
| #2 | Bottom Fragger | 42% | 43 |
| #3 | PE4KS S3XSLAVE | 40% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₿ | 24 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | PE4KS S3XSLAVE | 11 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Bottom Fragger | 6 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₿ | 630 | 0.35 | 14 min |
| #2 | Bottom Fragger | 188 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | PE4KS S3XSLAVE | 59 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₿ | +4.04 | 58 | 66 |
| #2 | maanjikid | +0.85 | 39 | 46 |
| #3 | Bottom Fragger | +0.62 | 46 | 63 |
| #4 | PE4KS S3XSLAVE | -0.32 | 39 | 32 |





