








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 356 | 34% |
| Smokes | 286 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 158 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 254 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $209,400 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MachoEscroto | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | quadradinho | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | loberto | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | Alpaca Brisado | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Flach | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loberto | 5 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Flach | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | LuKiTa | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | PEP3LL | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Tatazin | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PEP3LL | 128 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #2 | loberto | 97 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Tatazin | 84 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | LuKiTa | 73 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Alpaca Brisado | 35 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loberto | +3.45 | 49 | 70 |
| #2 | Flach | +1.95 | 66 | 49 |
| #3 | MachoEscroto | +1.17 | 56 | 50 |
| #4 | GKR | +0.88 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | Motta | +0.57 | 64 | 55 |





