








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,815 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1702 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2067 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1100 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1946 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,229,102 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ibao | 320 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #2 | 欧洲顶级突破口-FywOo | 224 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | NuoClan | 205 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #4 | ღ | 126 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | leeremenge | 114 | 0.21 | 3 min |





