








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1727 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 384 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 150 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5665 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5559 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5255 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4075 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,620,893 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1026 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASDFGHJKLZXCVVBNM<#@!+A*)_SHJius | 52% | 123 |
| #2 | Sevinc Sevilen | 52% | 355 |
| #3 | Valerina | 51% | 259 |
| #4 | DiK RaMaDaN | 50% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASDFGHJKLZXCVVBNM<#@!+A*)_SHJius | 52% | 123 |
| #2 | Sevinc Sevilen | 52% | 355 |
| #3 | Valerina | 51% | 259 |
| #4 | DiK RaMaDaN | 50% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sevinc Sevilen | 33 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Valerina | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | ASDFGHJKLZXCVVBNM<#@!+A*)_SHJius | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | DiK RaMaDaN | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valerina | 912 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | Sevinc Sevilen | 793 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | ASDFGHJKLZXCVVBNM<#@!+A*)_SHJius | 554 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #4 | DiK RaMaDaN | 287 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silvester | +3.21 | 74 | 63 |
| #2 | ASDFGHJKLZXCVVBNM<#@!+A*)_SHJius | +1.57 | 66 | 67 |
| #3 | Sevinc Sevilen | -0.65 | 63 | 54 |
| #4 | Valerina | -1.27 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | DiK RaMaDaN | -2.36 | 42 | 51 |





