








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 295 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4034 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3745 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4304 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3763 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,143,164 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K V I S T | 48% | 29 |
| #2 | Mammasutter | 46% | 213 |
| #3 | Mellow ♡ | 44% | 55 |
| #4 | Ryan Gosling | 43% | 69 |
| #5 | boffie | 43% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mammasutter | 46% | 213 |
| #3 | Mellow ♡ | 44% | 55 |
| #4 | Ryan Gosling | 43% | 69 |
| #5 | boffie | 43% | 80 |
| #6 | The Rocket DK | 41% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mammasutter | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Ryan Gosling | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | boffie | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | The Rocket DK | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Mellow ♡ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boffie | 388 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #2 | Ryan Gosling | 185 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mammasutter | 166 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | The Rocket DK | 93 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mellow ♡ | 59 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K V I S T | +3.21 | 75 | 46 |
| #2 | Ryan Gosling | +1.61 | 53 | 56 |
| #3 | 2mm pleasure | +0.61 | 56 | 63 |
| #4 | boffie | -0.16 | 48 | 52 |
| #5 | Mammasutter | -1.83 | 29 | 40 |





