










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,255 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 573 | 46% |
| Smokes | 137 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 235 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 310 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $322,890 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Bu11et | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | AmnD704 | 42% | 12 |
| #3 | Tyler the Ejaculator | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Bu11et | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | AmnD704 | 42% | 12 |
| #3 | Tyler the Ejaculator | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyler the Ejaculator | 4 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyler the Ejaculator | 24 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #2 | AmnD704 | 11 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | ✪Bu11et | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Bu11et | +4.17 | 72 | 34 |
| #2 | youtrollmeo | +0.25 | 54 | 35 |
| #3 | AmnD704 | -1.46 | 15 | 48 |
| #4 | Tyler the Ejaculator | -1.52 | 59 | 16 |





