








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 371 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,273 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1966 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1390 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 740 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1177 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,057 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | njuki | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Lambdacore | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Fisker | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Sh4aa | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | njuki | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Lambdacore | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Fisker | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Sh4aa | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sh4aa | 7 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | njuki | 1 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Fisker | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fisker | 34 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #2 | njuki | 27 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Sh4aa | 26 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lambdacore | 21 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | njuki | +3.78 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | zakarinh0 | +2.37 | 89 | 67 |
| #3 | Lambdacore | -1.18 | 94 | 71 |
| #4 | Sh4aa | -1.18 | 60 | 56 |
| #5 | Fisker | -2.20 | 63 | 62 |





