








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 909 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 287 | 32% |
| Smokes | 228 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 209 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 185 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $503,749 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrandisPandis | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | MrHouse | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Goose | 45% | 29 |
| #4 | Chrisfax | 42% | 113 |
| #5 | Shreew | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chrisfax | 448 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | Arnie | 155 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | Goose | 44 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Shreew | 42 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | GrandisPandis | 23 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arnie | +5.38 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | MrHouse | +2.84 | 90 | 56 |
| #3 | Chrisfax | +2.72 | 78 | 56 |
| #4 | GrandisPandis | +2.48 | 85 | 68 |
| #5 | Shreew | +2.23 | 79 | 55 |





