








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 335 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1056 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2133 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1710 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1907 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $359,310 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carvah | 55% | 67 |
| #2 | BOOM HS | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | no zaza | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | Mr. Chick | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carvah | 55% | 67 |
| #2 | BOOM HS | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | no zaza | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | Mr. Chick | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | no zaza | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Mr. Chick | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | BOOM HS | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carvah | 277 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | no zaza | 119 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | BOOM HS | 70 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mr. Chick | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOOM HS | +2.31 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | no zaza | +2.03 | 64 | 62 |
| #3 | carvah | +0.69 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | Biggie Chungus | -1.12 | 45 | 37 |
| #5 | Mr. Chick | -1.44 | 44 | 35 |





