








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 818 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 112 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,654 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1793 | 27% |
| Smokes | 566 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 2634 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1661 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,247,106 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marsupilami | 52% | 73 |
| #2 | ☻נєѕυѕ Ŀ♥νєs тнє αк47☻ | 52% | 31 |
| #3 | sø | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | blacklips $ | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | Nasty | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | sø | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | blacklips $ | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | Nasty | 48% | 25 |
| #6 | ado | 47% | 19 |
| #7 | relziN | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marsupilami | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | ado | 8 | 0.0214 |
| #3 | sø | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | ☻נєѕυѕ Ŀ♥νєs тнє αк47☻ | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | blacklips $ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sø | 181 | 0.44 | 2 min |
| #2 | blacklips $ | 74 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | ☻נєѕυѕ Ŀ♥νєs тнє αк47☻ | 62 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Marsupilami | 53 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | relziN | 26 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bASTYY | +3.65 | 87 | 49 |
| #2 | ☻נєѕυѕ Ŀ♥νєs тнє αк47☻ | +1.19 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | Marsupilami | +1.06 | 75 | 34 |
| #4 | relziN | -0.68 | 91 | 48 |
| #5 | blacklips $ | -0.95 | 45 | 71 |





