








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 738 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 571 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 135 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12876 | 33% |
| Smokes | 10547 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7489 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 8512 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,436,324 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 528 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nekx | 56% | 153 |
| #2 | macintosh | 54% | 123 |
| #3 | Gh0st | 51% | 227 |
| #4 | AIZEX | 50% | 94 |
| #5 | Seleven | 47% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nekx | 56% | 153 |
| #2 | macintosh | 54% | 123 |
| #3 | Gh0st | 51% | 227 |
| #4 | AIZEX | 50% | 94 |
| #5 | Seleven | 47% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gh0st | 23 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | nekx | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Seleven | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | macintosh | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | AIZEX | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gh0st | 1046 | 0.23 | 23 min |
| #2 | nekx | 404 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | macintosh | 149 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Seleven | 98 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | AIZEX | 41 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my on ass` | +2.12 | 88 | 74 |
| #2 | nekx | +0.77 | 77 | 57 |
| #3 | Seleven | +0.44 | 76 | 42 |
| #4 | Gh0st | +0.42 | 82 | 56 |
| #5 | macintosh | +0.34 | 75 | 49 |





