








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 818 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 900 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 342 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13059 | 29% |
| Smokes | 11764 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 11470 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 9010 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,260,139 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 680 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Luke Skywankerツ | 43% | 76 |
| #12 | Shim | 43% | 84 |
| #13 | Gull4ch | 43% | 82 |
| #14 | Smackdaddy | 41% | 101 |
| #15 | SatanClaws | 38% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Walther^ | 313 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Smackdaddy | 238 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Luke Skywankerツ | 217 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | TopDog 747 | 215 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Gull4ch | 200 | 0.11 | 5 min |





