








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 718 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 640 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12366 | 24% |
| Smokes | 15406 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 11732 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 12666 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,670,495 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6645 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FailureWzl | 52% | 84 |
| #2 | Ch3m1cal | 41% | 118 |
| #3 | HAMPTER | 34% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FailureWzl | 52% | 84 |
| #2 | Ch3m1cal | 41% | 118 |
| #3 | HAMPTER | 34% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HAMPTER | 16 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Ch3m1cal | 13 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | FailureWzl | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ch3m1cal | 172 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | HAMPTER | 96 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | FailureWzl | 19 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HAMPTER | +1.94 | 34 | 44 |
| #2 | FailureWzl | +0.73 | 26 | 34 |
| #3 | Ch3m1cal | +0.18 | 30 | 54 |
| #4 | 𝕯𝕵 𝕽𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖞 60hz | -0.05 | 16 | 70 |





