








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1481 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1018 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1514 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1508 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $488,276 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | UZUMAKI | 61% | 162 |
| #6 | ุ | 60% | 57 |
| #7 | aleX | 57% | 93 |
| #8 | MaddoxX | 55% | 20 |
| #9 | jb | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UZUMAKI | 19 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | ONENESS | 17 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | ุ | 14 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | NoOne | 13 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | aleX | 7 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UZUMAKI | 882 | 0.28 | 20 min |
| #2 | ONENESS | 480 | 0.30 | 12 min |
| #3 | NoOne | 360 | 0.39 | 9 min |
| #4 | ุ | 236 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | aleX | 218 | 0.12 | 5 min |





