








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 604 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,931 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3888 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5814 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4304 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5925 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,740,541 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 759 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herslow | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | IKEEZ_ 𒉭 | 49% | 47 |
| #3 | 21 | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | V | 43% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herslow | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | IKEEZ_ 𒉭 | 49% | 47 |
| #3 | 21 | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | V | 43% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V | 14 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | 21 | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | IKEEZ_ 𒉭 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 21 | 194 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | V | 97 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Herslow | 87 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | IKEEZ_ 𒉭 | 57 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IKEEZ_ 𒉭 | +3.35 | 68 | 48 |
| #2 | 21 | -0.33 | 40 | 62 |
| #3 | Kyu | -1.28 | 54 | 55 |
| #4 | Herslow | -2.16 | 59 | 55 |
| #5 | V | -2.68 | 40 | 42 |





