








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2719 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4365 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4718 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2198 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,251,668 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | imlewii | 63% | 59 |
| #2 | Currtt | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | ACee | 51% | 237 |
| #4 | Emmett | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | mphelan777 | 47% | 241 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ACee | 15 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | mphelan777 | 14 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Robbie | 14 | 0.0196 |
| #4 | Minigonebad | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | imlewii | 6 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mphelan777 | 760 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | ACee | 708 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | Minigonebad | 227 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | imlewii | 207 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Currtt | 93 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Calum | +2.70 | 59 | 63 |
| #2 | imlewii | +1.71 | 49 | 69 |
| #3 | mphelan777 | +0.29 | 48 | 61 |
| #4 | Emmett | +0.22 | 54 | 62 |
| #5 | Currtt | -0.01 | 48 | 58 |





