








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1547 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1935 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 905 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1234 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $461,426 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joha | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Paco the squirrel miss your mom | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | mäkine | 44% | 25 |
| #4 | ropi | 43% | 68 |
| #5 | AKSU! | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joha | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Paco the squirrel miss your mom | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | mäkine | 44% | 25 |
| #4 | ropi | 43% | 68 |
| #5 | AKSU! | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ropi | 12 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | AKSU! | 6 | 0.0273 |
| #3 | mäkine | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Paco the squirrel miss your mom | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Joha | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ropi | 81 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | mäkine | 61 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | AKSU! | 27 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | Paco the squirrel miss your mom | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Joha | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joha | +2.96 | 82 | 46 |
| #2 | ropi | +0.64 | 59 | 54 |
| #3 | viliNd | -0.04 | 51 | 67 |
| #4 | mäkine | -1.18 | 31 | 61 |
| #5 | AKSU! | -1.52 | 26 | 64 |





