








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,931 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1915 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1282 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2465 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2269 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,276,458 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Google Translate | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Kollosso | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Bob Tschigerillo | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | why am i here | 53% | 176 |
| #5 | Cpt. Fentanyl | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | why am i here | 565 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | sn00py1310 | 281 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Ruschi :) | 110 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bob Tschigerillo | 104 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | panhalla | 73 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | very many | +6.44 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | why am i here | +4.10 | 75 | 49 |
| #3 | Verjeys | +1.62 | 47 | 40 |
| #4 | Kollosso | +1.11 | 61 | 57 |
| #5 | Bob Tschigerillo | +0.70 | 42 | 49 |





