








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 624 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




130 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3369 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4650 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1720 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3050 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,718,725 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 675 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlyJesse | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | RaZoR | 58% | 67 |
| #3 | Old M8 | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlyJesse | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | RaZoR | 58% | 67 |
| #3 | Old M8 | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaZoR | 14 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Old M8 | 8 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | SlyJesse | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaZoR | 98 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Old M8 | 37 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | SlyJesse | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaZoR | +2.89 | 58 | 55 |
| #2 | ✪ General | +1.33 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | SlyJesse | +0.41 | 54 | 56 |
| #4 | Old M8 | -3.44 | 41 | 40 |





